An Intoxicating Island Blend
Hi friend,
Living in Okinawa, Japan as a teenager was pivotal, which I wasn’t able to recognize at the time. It expanded my view of the world and exposed me to a new culture. I went to a school in which my love of writing, photography and languages were blended to create an intoxicating blend for my senses.
Also, I wasn’t bullied as much as I’d been at other schools and would be again when I moved back to the United States (it’s something that seemed to follow me no matter where I lived). I felt a greater sense of belonging in a sea of students who were familiar with being uprooted in the middle of the school year and being flung into new surroundings that they were expected to adapt to. It was less of a struggle to be me (though it has never completely dissipated).
Then there was my high school sweetheart. For once, I caught the attention of a boy at school who made me feel seen, heard and valued when I had been used to only catching the attention of the not-so-great boys and being ignored by the ones I liked. Looking back, so much of who I am was solidified to some degree during my two years in Okinawa.
Moving back to the United States during my junior year was like having the rug pulled out from underneath the solid foundation I had begun building for my own identity—my confidence, sense of belonging, being accepted, and showcasing my gifts. I was bullied in new ways, my long-distance relationship ended, and I felt lost. I spiraled back down into a dark hole of negativity and anger, and feeling that I didn’t belong. My insecurity, though it hadn’t disappeared, reared its ugly head ten-fold. But I did find a sense of belonging with the foreign exchange students because of my experience living in Okinawa.
It wasn’t until recently that I recognized how much Okinawa will forever hold a special place in my heart. It was the first foreign country I lived in. I learned to speak Japanese and lived next to local people. I was around an ethnically diverse community of students and teachers in high school. New life was breathed into my talents and my curiosity for the world was awakened on a deeper level.
Though decades have passed since that experience, that same dream I had as a little girl has been lying dormant within. With the passing of the years and not truly feeling fulfilled in my life, that dream has been speaking to me more. That little girl is trying to wake me up to see the life that I am meant to live, to go after that dream she and I have always had.
Deep down, I believe I’ve always known that I am meant to wander the world, to experience its beauty in hidden corners, to allow my soul to play on a global scale. My curiosity and sense of adventure are too big for just one country or to contain in living a so-called traditional life.
I am grateful for my experience in Okinawa. I am grateful for my big, bold dreams. I am grateful for coming back to the truth of who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to live my life more fully. I am grateful for this intersection in my life of the experiences I’ve had and the experiences I’ve yet to create. I have always felt a pull towards being a global gal and soon I will become just that.
- Jen
Reflection: What was a pivotal moment in your life that helped shape who you are today?