My big moment had arrived. I was going to share the stage with other amazing speakers to inspire and empower the young women in the audience. I was surrounded by accomplished athletes and successful business owners and nonprofit trailblazers. And then there was little ‘ole me. My impact on the world around me was nowhere near as significant as I’d hoped for it to be up to that point (and still isn’t as I share this). I was still working for someone else to work towards my dreams. I wasn’t a guest on talk shows like some of the others. I wasn’t featured in magazines. I was barely a blip on a few people’s radars. Just. Breathe.
Comparison creates internal chaos. It puts us in our heads and provides a platform for flinging crap at ourselves that is based upon the notion that we are not good enough in some way. That is definitely what I was doing, but I caught myself, and flipped my internal dialogue.
The fact that I was asked to share the stage with these incredible women was a testament to the fact that my message is important, that my passion to inspire and empower others is worth the pursuit. So what an amazing honor to be sharing the stage with these incredible women who I too, could learn something from.
When we compare, we tell ourselves that we are not worthy of what has shown up for us in our lives. And I’m here to tell you that is total bullshit. If the universe didn’t want you to have it, it wouldn’t bring it to you. So be open and receptive to all the wonderful things that life can present you with.
I’m not saying that exiting the comparison game is easy. I still fall back into it. I still have a voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough by looking at all the people around me who are way ahead of me. But I come back to reminding myself that we all have different journeys—different paths that life takes us down—and all paths have obstacles, setbacks, struggles, doubts, insecurities.
When you get stuck in comparison mode, remind yourself of how far you’ve come and focus on what it is you want to accomplish. Remember that you don’t know the struggles that others have gone through to get to where they are. Honor where you are on your journey and celebrate the victories along the way.
After I spoke at the event, I called my mom to share about the experience. I was a little hard on myself, feeling like I could have done better (which is what I often think because I want to keep improving), but then I did an about-face and treated myself to a delicious, healthy dinner and sat outside to soak in the beautiful day. I accepted the comments I received from the 8-second video captured of me by another speaker; I let them soak in and gave myself credit and appreciation for stepping into discomfort in a big way and for walking onto the stage to share my story to help others. I showed up. I did it. I took another step closer to my dreams. And that’s a win!
LYF 💖
REFLECTION: Where are you currently stuck in comparison mode? What can you be proud of instead?